A Chinese Wedding
Having been in Singapore only a few months, we were very surprised to get a wedding invitation from our landlord’s son, as this was not the general rule on so short acquaintance.
Neither did we know their culture or customs.
After questioning many people, and getting no answers but a shrug and an “I do not know,” Phillip the grocery boy came to our rescue. He told us, “Chinese women very vain, must look your best. Get UMPAH envelope put money in for gift, must be given to groom at proper time. Also must have escort.” Here was a problem. Our menfolk were working in Borneo. We knew they had agencies there where you could rent an escort, but we were too new to the country and were afraid to try that.
We would not go to the wedding. Groom and Bride go alone to temple very early morning, where priest marries them. Then back to groom’s parents’ house, where both families have wedding breakfast. A day of celebration for both families begin and last till late afternoon.
The bride’s parents then present her to the groom’s family, thereafter she belongs to her family no more.
Pink is the traditional wedding color, standing for happiness. The groom cannot marry until he has enough money saved to pay for his wedding dinner.
A Chinese Wedding Dinner
We were ready to go, feeling we could compete with any Chinese women. But no escort: what to do?
At seven p.m. sharp, a taxi arrived and two well-dressed young Chinese men, rang the bell. They informed us Mr. Wong (bless him) had sent them as our escorts. Mr. Charlie Chan was mine. Mr. Allen Chan was Faye’s. They also said they had graduated from Oxford and were gentleman. They were to explain the procedure to us. We were to watch closely and do exactly as everyone else did.
They handed us into the taxi and we were off, excited and half scared, wondering how we would fare. When we arrived, the gates were open. We were greeted by the groom’s elder brother. A waiter seated us at a table for ten, and gave each of us a cigarette. Shortly another waiter brought a bowl of nuts and drinks.
A Canadian joined our table. Charlie and Allen soon put us all at ease. As we were munching nuts we started looking around. We were seated in a large pavilion with a roof, from which hung Chinese lanterns, pink streamers and many-colored balloons.
There were tables as far as we could see. I asked how many guests. Charlie said about 2000. There seemed to be people of all nations there. Some in native dress but a surprising number in western clothes. Caterers started wheeling food in.
We realized we had a very good table, and were told it was next to the Groom’s. Back of their table was a Malaysian band which every few minutes struck up some American popular music.
At last the front door opened, and there stood the Groom and Bride shyly holding hands: everyone cheered. When they were seated, the door opened again. A handsome couple (his parents), mother in black lace on her husband’s arm, next eldest brother and wife were seated, last their two children. The bride was lovely in pink silk.
Then started the ten-course dinner. First a salad, shrimp appetizer, small roast pig, shark fin soup, Peking duck, Chinese hamburger, baked angel fish, sweet and sour pork, fried rice, frozen fruit for desert. It had taken two hours to serve this meal. About midway through dinner the groom and bride rose and walked to a table near them. Everyone at table stood up and sounds like a mournful howl filled the air, then everyone said “cheers,” drank a toast and the groom was given the red envelope. They bowed and passed on to the next table. The bride was lovely, but got very little attention.
When they returned to their table they were exhausted. The band started up some fast dance music and our escorts excused themselves to hunt a dance partner. People started leaving. Finally, it was decided we were to escort ourselves home. As we were leaving here was a very proper receiving line: bride, groom, his father, mother, elder brother, and wife. Each shook hands and thanked us for coming. Slowly walking down the street we wondered if it was proper to be alone on streets at this hour. We soon discovered many other women walking home alone. A strange custom. We had a good laugh after we were safely home.
We had learned much that night and a new respect for Chinese customs. We had been to many wedding receptions, but never had we seen such precise catering or such a lavish dinner. It had been a most enjoyable and enlightening evening.
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| I don't have any good images at the moment to include for this post, so I'll just add this clipping from Granny's scrapbook. |
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